Blurred
by Radiant Angel Girl
Summary: A grimace still adorned his face...
1. Chapter 1

Just something that came to me.

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><p><em>Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry<br>You don't know how lovely you are_

Silence surrounded her. Her vision was blurred, figures were moving past her in slow motion. She was running. Past the people dressed in dark navy, past the line of yellow tape meant to keep onlookers out, meant to keep her out. She threw open the door and ran up the stairs, eyes glancing past the smears of bloodied footprints. She could hear the bustling in the room and as she entered there was a tornado of activity. The metallic scent of the room sent her stomach in knots. Forcing her way in she could hear Oliver in the back ground, "McNally, what are you doing here? What is she doing here?"

And then Boyd was on top of her barking, "What is she doing here? Get her out of here! Get her out of here now!" And suddenly she was fighting against a strong set of arms. But at that point all she knew was that she was looking past him. Past the mass collective of crime scene investigators, a swirl of activity in the room, flashes of cameras, past all of that. Across the room, she could see him.

_I had to find you  
>Tell you I need you<br>Tell you I've set you apart_

"Sam! Sam!" She yelled, trying to break through the strong arms. "I have to see Sam!"

"Andy, no!"

But it was too late, she saw what they didn't want her too. An officer had moved just slightly and she could see just beyond him. It was Sam, laying there, his perfect face marred by a single red spot, a bullet hole. His chest was blemished by three dark stains. He was surrounded by a corona of blood. A grimace still adorned his face. His eyes… He was…

Gone.

And she was…

On the floor, sobbing, unable to breathe. Then, she was pulled to her feet by strong gentle hands.

_Tell me your secrets  
>And ask me your questions<br>Oh, let's go back to the start_

"Andy…" the voice trailed off. Something in the back of her head made the connection that the voice was Oliver, that one set of hands belonged to him, and the other belonged to Jerry. Together they guided her to the door, helped her down the stairs, and maneuvered her into a car. She left Traci's keys in Jerry's hands. Somehow in the blur, she remembered that minute detail, and she focused on it.

Now, all she could focus on was the image of him lying there. The grimace, he had been shot in the shoulder first. His eyes were still open.

_Running in circles  
>Coming up tails<br>Heads on the science apart_

She could feel the panic starting again. She could feel the bile rise to her mouth. And she was sobbing again. And she couldn't breathe. And if she hadn't already been sitting she would have fallen to the ground. She was guided into Traci's apartment, and she collapsed into bed.

_Nobody said it was easy  
>It's such a shame for us to part<em>

She hadn't told him. She didn't have the chance. And now he would never know…

Never know just how much his being there mattered. How when he was there, that was what mattered. That she wanted to spend every living moment with him.

_Nobody said it was easy  
>No one ever said it would be this hard <em>

She felt herself being nudged awake. Could they just leave a grieving woman alone. She needed to feel this sad. She needed time. And space.

The pushing wouldn't stop. She could hear someone's voice calling her name, "Andy, Andy wake up."

_Oh take me back to the start_

She opened her eyes, and found herself looking across the bed into a familiar set of deep brown ones. Deep brown ones that had just been looking at her lifelessly. She let out a harsh breath, and felt herself start to cry.

"Andy, it was just a dream." He scooped her into his embrace, and she threw her leg over his hips, the need to fuse with him foremost in her mind. She needed to feel just how alive he was. To feel all the superficial wounds, to substantiate that there were no bullets in his body.

"No. Sam, it was a nightmare." She pressed her forehead to his, and pressed her body into his, feeling and listening to his breathing.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head slightly. "No." She put her damp cheek to his, and whispered, "I love you, Sam."

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><p>There will be a second part. Reviews would be lovely.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

_I was just guessing  
>At numbers and figures<br>Pulling the puzzles apart_

"Where's _Candace_?" The way he asked, made Sam's stomach turn. He felt cold, but not from the draft in the window. His skin was crawling.

"Uh, she's not back yet…" Everything after that point in the apartment was a blur.

His eyes opened and he couldn't see anything. He could hear the creaking of floor boards, but there was a cloth covering his face. If he could just get his eyes to focus… Maybe he could see through the cloth… Then it was gone. And he could see. But he couldn't focus…

_Questions of science  
>Science and progress<br>Do not speak as loud as my heart_

"Where the hell is Candace?" His mind was wandering to all sorts of horrifying things, things he knew the man in front of him was capable of.

"Well, I gave her a ride." Through the blur and haze, Sam could see a smirk appear on the man's face.

"What did you _do _to her?"

"Oh, we went to the marina," he said without flair, "walked around, had a talk. Had to warn her that you are a deceitful son of a bitch." He set a stool in front of Sam's chair and sat for a moment.

"She was almost willing to defend you to the death."

Sam's breathing stopped. Death. Death?

"What did you fucking do to her?"

"What I do best, _copper_." He walked out of the room and Sam could hear something being dragged into the room. He was pulling a tarp. Opening it, Sam saw what he hoped he wouldn't. He saw the thing he'd had nightmares about for months.

_Oh tell me you love me  
>Come back and haunt me<br>Oh and I rush to the start_

He never had the chance to tell her. To tell her how long he'd… He would have done anything for her. Died in her place millions of times over. "Andy!"

He couldn't breathe, he was tied to this fucking chair and he couldn't move. And suddenly he was knocked backwards. "So she was a cop, too. Honestly hadn't guessed. Just knew she was more important to you than you let on. She was better than you are…" He could hear him chuckle, cynically.

"Let's have a drink, eh?"

Running in circles  
>Chasing our tails<br>Coming back as we are

He fought, but he didn't know what he was fighting for. "So, why don't you tell me what happened to my family?" Sam barely registered the man talking. His eyes were locked on Andy's body. There was blood smeared across her clothes, and a large gash across her otherwise flawless face. Her cheeks, that hours before had been dark pink from passion, were much less pink now. She still had some color. She had too much color to be dead.

Nobody said it was easy  
>Oh, it's such a shame for us to part<p>

"I don't know what happened to your family, Jamie! Let me keep mine! Andy!" He could hear the metallic click of a gun being loaded. She was stirring a little. He could see her eyes flutter a little, before looking in horror from him, to the barrel of the gun that was pointed at his chest. Jamie Brennan laughed a bitter laugh, and turned the aim of the firearm from Sam to Andy.

Before Sam could even say another word, utter another sound, move a single muscle, the trigger was pulled. She was dead. And the gun was now hot against his temple.

_Nobody said it was easy  
>No one ever said it would be so hard<em>

He felt pain in his head, it rippled across his body. He felt his entire body jerk, as though it was falling.

I'm going back to the start

The pain was more like he was hit in the head with an elbow than with a bullet. He wanted to reach up and feel what the damage had been, and he realized he could move his hands. He allowed himself to open his eyes, and tried to focus. His eyes converged on the ceiling fan, as it turned slowly. Recognition ran through his body as did acute relief.

This was his home. He was in his bed. He turned his head to the right and saw her. Her face was jumbled up into a grimace, and her limbs were moving around restlessly tangled in the covers. He sighed as he realized that he _was _hit in the face with an elbow.

He shook her, slightly, whispering, "Andy, Andy wake up." There were tears drying on her face. She must have been dreaming, too.

He watched as she opened her eyes. He had never been so happy to look into those brown eyes as he was at that moment. Deep brown ones that had just moments ago, been scrunched in horror. He could hear her exhale sharply, and felt her tremor as she began to cry.

"Andy, it was just a dream." He pulled her close, as close as he possibly could, and felt her shift, so that she was laying across him, as if they were meant to be a single entity. It reassured him, knowing she was very much alive.

"No. Sam, it was a nightmare." He felt her press her hot forehead into his, as he looked into her wild eyes. She pushed her body into his, he could feel himself sinking further into the mattress. They were silent for a few moments, and he didn't move, save drawing his arms around her back to rest on her bare shoulder blades. He found peace in the sound of her breathing, now slowing from the panicked rate it had been when she awoke.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, plainly. He didn't want to talk about his, so he expected even less of her.

She shook her head slightly. "No." He could feel her head come to rest next to his, her nose at his ear, her tears against his cheek. In a hushed tone, he heard, "I love you, Sam."

He could barely hold his own emotions back. His voice, husky from sleep said simply, "I love you, Andy."

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><p>There is part 2. I so apreciate the reviews. I have some other ideas spinning. (Only 8 months, lol!)<p> 


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